Ok, let me be gentle now – you might want to sit down, I’ve got some news.
The earth is flat.
Yes, I know it sounds impossible – we’ve been told it’s round, or as my dear Father used to say an ‘oblate spheroid’, but it’s not. It’s flat. Just like God told us in the bible. Flat.
I’m sorry – here have a strong cup of sweet tea, and here *profers a box of tissues*
I know, it’s a shock.
One of the stages of grief is denial, so let me back up my news for you.
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